Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MrRiich hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here

Fav 0 2102 1868
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.

Fav 9 3872 839
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

Fav 45 15495 2362
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

Fav 4 5523 1504
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

Fav 7 3142 1066
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore

Fav 10 2261 1375
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like

Fav 4 950 2091
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.

Fav 2 92 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??

Fav 0 10 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT