All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
