Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
