I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
