I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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