I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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