I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
