I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
