I didn't shave. On purpose
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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