i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
time to smoke my breakfast
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize