he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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