Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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