I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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