I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize