If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
