I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
