Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
barbara walters just said penis...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
