Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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