the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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