I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
