Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
