I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
