You're completely useless in the revolution.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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