i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
