I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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