i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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