I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
