I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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