as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
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can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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