Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
