i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
In America we eat man semen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
