i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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