is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
