If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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