We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize