I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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