Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
