Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize