; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
