It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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