End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
