yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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