Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So apparently I’m into choking now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
