eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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