K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you traded sex for a burrito?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
