His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
