Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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