we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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