end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize