it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
