i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
