remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize