White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
