But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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