i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
