pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
