The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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