i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
