dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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