Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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