I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
