My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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