when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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