Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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